How To Develop A Quiet Confidence

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Quiet confidence is the unique way of being in the world of someone who has apparently been forged and humbled by life. Quiet Confidence; Source:

[…]; in quietness and trust (confidence) shall be your strength: […]
~Isaiah 30:15

Its development consists of three parts or better three different layers that all interact and build on each other:

Outward Confidence
How you interact with the world and other people
Core Confidence
What you think about yourself and your abilities
Universal Confidence
Your relationship with the divine or the mechanics of the universe, if you will

You have to work on each of the layers individually to get them to a somewhat balanced level. If one of them is dominant, you will always cling to that part, even if it is not appropriate to a particular situation.

Below you will find seven steps that you can take right now to start developing a quiet confidence.

Outward Confidence

Outward Confidence; Source:

Speak Less

This step is the most obvious prerequisite for developing a quiet confidence.

When you speak less about yourself and keep important details hidden, you project an air of mystery.

It also prevents you from seeking approval of others.

Remember confident people march to the beat of their own drum. They never complain and never explain themselves.

It is also important to think before you open your mouth. That way when you do speak, it will be clear and concise, and your words will carry that much more weight.

Listen more

When you are really listening to what another person has to say, instead of just waiting, for your turn to speak, you possess a rare gift.

Not only does it allow you to truly understand another human being, but it also makes you more attractive in the process.

Only confident people can take the backseat and allow others to shine.

Use Eye Talk

Expressing your emotions through excessive gestures of the mouth, makes you come across as submissive and needy.

By communicating with your eyes instead, you hold onto your power.

Doing this, will make you seem friendly and approachable. People generally want to be around an influential person.

Core Confidence

Core Confidence;

Create Artificial Evidence

Your mind doesn’t know the difference between a real experience and an imaginary one.

If you tell yourself you are confident and visualize how this would look like, you will actually be and feel more confident.

Widen Your Competence

Part of your self-assurance comes from your skills, abilities and successful accomplishments.

If you widen your competence by practicing old skills and learning new ones, you will also get a confidence boost.

Along the way, you will get to know your weaknesses and have to admit your mistakes to learn from them.

This experience is a very humbling and will keep your confidence from turning into arrogance.

Go To Hell And Back

If you go through an extreme experience, survive it and can patch yourself up afterwards, the result will be a supreme trust in yourself and an unshakeable presence.

I’m not advocating to go into a dangerous situation intentionally, but there is a certain truth to the transformative effect it has.

Initiation rituals offer here a valuable alternative. They create a similar psychological pressure while providing a relatively safe environment.

Universal Confidence

Universal Confidence; Source:

Letting go

It takes time for your efforts to bear fruit. Just like a farmer, all you can do is create the right conditions and plant the seed and then wait, for the plant to grow.

If you can surrender your need to control every detail and trust in something beyond yourself, you will be inspired with great confidence.


If you implement the seven points above into your life, you will develop a quiet confidence and a unique presence that speaks so loudly that anyone can hear it.

preview: what it means to be a man.


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